The end of the year, that is. And the first decade of the second millenium. Damn, has it really been ten years?! Hard to believe.
It's nearing 7:30 a.m. as I write this and it's another cold morning. It was 34 when we got up, but it's forecast to get around 67 today. That will be nice. An element broke in our central heating about two years ago, so we suffer through the winter with space heaters. I've got a parabolic sitting about a yard from me at the moment. It gives a nice laser-beam of heat. At the moment, Valenica has parked her furry butt right in front of it. She doesn't care much for the cold, either.
School starts in five days. Five DAYS! I swear it was just yesterday that I was looking forward to the holiday break and all the tasks I'd get done during my down time. And now the semester is just five days away and that to-do list isn't all that much shorter than before the holiday. But that's the life of a grad student - a history grad, anyway.
I really want . . . no need . . . to begin the semester with the first chapter of my thesis written. I have about six pages done. The chapter needs to be around 20. Not good. Not good at all. I'm not sure why it's proving so difficult to write, exactly. I mean, I could sit here and tell you everything I'm including in the chapter, and the argument I'm trying to make. The chapter goes over the social history of Preston from the late eighteenth through the nineteenth centuries. I know that history quite well. And yet, the pages don't come. I find other things to do, or I sit and stare at the screen. This has become my modus operandi for everything I write for school. And frankly, I'm sick of it. I'm not sure what's happened, but it needs to come to an end. I've got way too much writing to do this semester to continually suffer writer's block.
Besides finishing my first chapter by Monday, I have two other chapters and an intro and conclusion to write for my thesis by the end of March. In theory, that's quite doable. But once I'm in the throes of the semester, God only knows how I'll do. I have a graduate seminar course this semester, too. It's on 15th century Europe and will involve a 20-page research paper. I'm thinking of doing something on the War of the Roses. I'd prefer to keep my focus on Preston, but I don't have enough resources available to pursue that (I don't think). My other class, US Readings from Reconstruction, shouldn't have a huge paper to write. Typically, Readings courses have a historiography. It's about 15 pages, but is usually easier to write than a research paper. But the problem with Readings is, well, you do a lot of reading. We're covering a book a week, and all of them are fairly large. I imagine there will be three or four book reviews to write in there, at five pages each, so that will keep me busy. And, of course, I'm teaching three discussion groups again this semester. So I'll need to do all that reading, class prep, grading, etc. Yes, I'm going to be busy. How will I find the time to get everything done? Will this writer's block fade away? I've been struggling with it since last spring. Enough is enough, already!
Oh well, enough kvetching. Sitting here moaning about not getting my writing done does nothing to help me get my writing done! If only my thesis came as easily as this blog!
Happy New Year, everyone. Here's to a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2010 for us all.
30 December 2009
22 December 2009
Merry Christmas!
Okay, so it's still a few days before Christmas. But since I don't post regularly, anymore, I thought I'd extend the holiday wishes now. Otherwise, it's liable to be March and then it'd be a bit late (or insanely early - take your pick).
At this moment, I'm sitting in my ice cold livingroom in front of the new parabolic heater (that Valencia has discovered and is hogging). I should be on campus. The semester's over (got an A in each of my classes - so the horrible Spring semester is officially a fluke), but I work better in the office. I have at least a chapter of my thesis to write over this break, so it's important I be where I'm not distracted. But I allowed myself to get dehydrated and my kidney hurts as a result, so I opted to stay home and work here. So far, I've spent a stupidly long amount of time playing Facebook games and am now writing this blog. Not a lick of work has happened on my thesis. This is a very bad thing, but hardly surprising. It's Christmas time and I want to goof off. But alas, that is not to be this year. Not if I want to keep my sanity and not try to write 80 some odd pages in March.
So, what's been happening? I just finished my first semester as a full-fledged GTA (graduate teaching assistant, not grand theft auto). I taught three classes each Friday. It really wasn't too bad. Some of the kids were annoying, but enough of them were great to make up for the bad eggs. I made mistakes, but I didn't ruin anyone's life. And I lived through it. The only really horrible part was I also had a three-hour class as a student on Friday afternoons. So I taught for three hours and learned for three hours every Friday. It made for a very tiring day.
I wrote two long papers this semester. One was an upgrade of a paper I did at Flagler. The other was about the River Ribble in Preston. I wrote it for my Global Environmental History class. That was the class I had on Fridays, and I took it ONLY because the class I wanted to take was full and I needed a third class. I remember telling my friends that I'd rather "put a gun to my head than take environmental history." That's how much I was not looking forward to it. Funny thing is, I fell in love with the field. Environmental history is not environmentalism. It's more a look at how people and their environments have interacted over the years.
Now, I'm more a social historian. I like looking at how people behaved under certain circumstances. For instance, my master's thesis examines what helped Preston's citizens overcome class barriers in the nineteenth century. Environmental history gives me a new tool with which to study social history. For instance, the Ribble paper I just finished looks at how Preston handled the Rivers Pollution Prevention Act of 1876. It addresses the river pollution, but gives us insight into what was important to the people of Preston during that time frame.
I'm so excited about environmental history that I want it to be a part of my PhD pursuits. And that's the next big thing that's been happening. I have decided to get a doctorate in history. But I don't want to get one in the United States. There are two reasons for this: One, the U.S. program takes 6 to 8 years. You have to spend about four years taking more grad classes, and then work a few more years on researching and writing a dissertation. Two, British history is not a popular field in the U.S. I found one university in an area where we'd like to live that has a British field, but I have to have two majors and two minors and none of the other offerings are anywhere near what interests me. Why should I spend so many years studying something that holds no interest?
On a lark, I looked at PhD programs in England. If I can't find English history here, go to the source, right? I ended up finding a program that perfectly fit. Lancaster University offers a program in Northwest English history. I couldn't believe it. And on top of that, British PhDs take only three years. You don't have to suffer through years of superfluous classes. You take a variety of seminars over the three years, but your focus is your research and writing. How great is that?
Reactions were mixed when I spoke to my professors about going to school in England. All agree that the program is perfect, but apparently the U.S. is a great big snob when it comes to education. Unless I got a PhD from Oxford or Cambridge, chances are slim that I'd get an academic job here in the U.S. The thing is, I don't even know that I want an academic job. I think I'd rather work for the government. Or in a museum.
After talking it over with Steve and getting his blessing, I applied to a couple of English universities: Lancaster and Manchester. I've received a positive response from Lancaster so far. They've requested a writing sample, which they supposedly wouldn't do if they weren't interested in me. The program coordinator at Lancaster told me that I have a "strong" application with outstanding references. So, I rather think I will get accepted. But that's just the first hurdle. The next is the crucial one and I won't know anything about it until March or April, and it's funding. I don't want to take out any more student loans. So the only way I can go to school in England is if I get funding from the school. My hope and prayer is that I am awarded a teaching assistantship - like what I have now. That way my tuition and fees are covered, and I'll get a stipend in exchange for me teaching a few undergrad history classes. Prayers and good thoughts are appreciated. I can't express how much I want this.
If it all comes true, then when I graduate from UNF at the end of July, Steve and I will be going to England for a few years. After spending the summer there, I'm ready for the adventure of full-time English living. Granted, I'm sure I will miss the sunshine. And I know full well the winter darkness will do in my head. I'll definitely have to have a sun lamp in the house to keep my spirits up when the daylight is only around from about 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. But I really want to live in England for awhile. I want to have time with that side of the family. I want British citizenship.
Of course, Steve has mixed feelings about it all, and it makes sense. We have built a life here. Leaving it behind will be a jolt. But the way I see it, we've been talking about relocating, anyway. Basically, we're already planning to uproot our life and start fresh. I'm just of the mind that if we're going to do it, go all the way. Plus, this gives Steve a chance to further his education, as well. And we're only talking about a few years: Three for me to get my degree, and then maybe a couple more to allow the degree to gain me some employment. I'll have an easier time coming back to the states with a British PhD if I have some employment credentials to back it up.
But for now, it's still just a dream. My biggest fear is that I will get accepted at Lancaster, but won't get funding. And because it's all still up in the air, we've not talked about it much with the English side of the family. We don't want to get hopes up. Me blogging about it is bad enough. At least here I can emphasize that this isn't yet reality. It could be as late as March or April before I know.
So for now, I need to just focus on finishing my master's degree. Which means I should quit blogging and get to work on my thesis. That chapter is not going to write itself - even though I keep leaving it alone in hopes that it will.
Until next time . . . Merry Christmas!
At this moment, I'm sitting in my ice cold livingroom in front of the new parabolic heater (that Valencia has discovered and is hogging). I should be on campus. The semester's over (got an A in each of my classes - so the horrible Spring semester is officially a fluke), but I work better in the office. I have at least a chapter of my thesis to write over this break, so it's important I be where I'm not distracted. But I allowed myself to get dehydrated and my kidney hurts as a result, so I opted to stay home and work here. So far, I've spent a stupidly long amount of time playing Facebook games and am now writing this blog. Not a lick of work has happened on my thesis. This is a very bad thing, but hardly surprising. It's Christmas time and I want to goof off. But alas, that is not to be this year. Not if I want to keep my sanity and not try to write 80 some odd pages in March.
So, what's been happening? I just finished my first semester as a full-fledged GTA (graduate teaching assistant, not grand theft auto). I taught three classes each Friday. It really wasn't too bad. Some of the kids were annoying, but enough of them were great to make up for the bad eggs. I made mistakes, but I didn't ruin anyone's life. And I lived through it. The only really horrible part was I also had a three-hour class as a student on Friday afternoons. So I taught for three hours and learned for three hours every Friday. It made for a very tiring day.
I wrote two long papers this semester. One was an upgrade of a paper I did at Flagler. The other was about the River Ribble in Preston. I wrote it for my Global Environmental History class. That was the class I had on Fridays, and I took it ONLY because the class I wanted to take was full and I needed a third class. I remember telling my friends that I'd rather "put a gun to my head than take environmental history." That's how much I was not looking forward to it. Funny thing is, I fell in love with the field. Environmental history is not environmentalism. It's more a look at how people and their environments have interacted over the years.
Now, I'm more a social historian. I like looking at how people behaved under certain circumstances. For instance, my master's thesis examines what helped Preston's citizens overcome class barriers in the nineteenth century. Environmental history gives me a new tool with which to study social history. For instance, the Ribble paper I just finished looks at how Preston handled the Rivers Pollution Prevention Act of 1876. It addresses the river pollution, but gives us insight into what was important to the people of Preston during that time frame.
I'm so excited about environmental history that I want it to be a part of my PhD pursuits. And that's the next big thing that's been happening. I have decided to get a doctorate in history. But I don't want to get one in the United States. There are two reasons for this: One, the U.S. program takes 6 to 8 years. You have to spend about four years taking more grad classes, and then work a few more years on researching and writing a dissertation. Two, British history is not a popular field in the U.S. I found one university in an area where we'd like to live that has a British field, but I have to have two majors and two minors and none of the other offerings are anywhere near what interests me. Why should I spend so many years studying something that holds no interest?
On a lark, I looked at PhD programs in England. If I can't find English history here, go to the source, right? I ended up finding a program that perfectly fit. Lancaster University offers a program in Northwest English history. I couldn't believe it. And on top of that, British PhDs take only three years. You don't have to suffer through years of superfluous classes. You take a variety of seminars over the three years, but your focus is your research and writing. How great is that?
Reactions were mixed when I spoke to my professors about going to school in England. All agree that the program is perfect, but apparently the U.S. is a great big snob when it comes to education. Unless I got a PhD from Oxford or Cambridge, chances are slim that I'd get an academic job here in the U.S. The thing is, I don't even know that I want an academic job. I think I'd rather work for the government. Or in a museum.
After talking it over with Steve and getting his blessing, I applied to a couple of English universities: Lancaster and Manchester. I've received a positive response from Lancaster so far. They've requested a writing sample, which they supposedly wouldn't do if they weren't interested in me. The program coordinator at Lancaster told me that I have a "strong" application with outstanding references. So, I rather think I will get accepted. But that's just the first hurdle. The next is the crucial one and I won't know anything about it until March or April, and it's funding. I don't want to take out any more student loans. So the only way I can go to school in England is if I get funding from the school. My hope and prayer is that I am awarded a teaching assistantship - like what I have now. That way my tuition and fees are covered, and I'll get a stipend in exchange for me teaching a few undergrad history classes. Prayers and good thoughts are appreciated. I can't express how much I want this.
If it all comes true, then when I graduate from UNF at the end of July, Steve and I will be going to England for a few years. After spending the summer there, I'm ready for the adventure of full-time English living. Granted, I'm sure I will miss the sunshine. And I know full well the winter darkness will do in my head. I'll definitely have to have a sun lamp in the house to keep my spirits up when the daylight is only around from about 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. But I really want to live in England for awhile. I want to have time with that side of the family. I want British citizenship.
Of course, Steve has mixed feelings about it all, and it makes sense. We have built a life here. Leaving it behind will be a jolt. But the way I see it, we've been talking about relocating, anyway. Basically, we're already planning to uproot our life and start fresh. I'm just of the mind that if we're going to do it, go all the way. Plus, this gives Steve a chance to further his education, as well. And we're only talking about a few years: Three for me to get my degree, and then maybe a couple more to allow the degree to gain me some employment. I'll have an easier time coming back to the states with a British PhD if I have some employment credentials to back it up.
But for now, it's still just a dream. My biggest fear is that I will get accepted at Lancaster, but won't get funding. And because it's all still up in the air, we've not talked about it much with the English side of the family. We don't want to get hopes up. Me blogging about it is bad enough. At least here I can emphasize that this isn't yet reality. It could be as late as March or April before I know.
So for now, I need to just focus on finishing my master's degree. Which means I should quit blogging and get to work on my thesis. That chapter is not going to write itself - even though I keep leaving it alone in hopes that it will.
Until next time . . . Merry Christmas!
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